Sunday, August 3, 2014

Seafood Buffet

So far you've read about the kids, the dog, and a bit about me.  But what about Jerry?  Isn't he on the island with us?

I have another blog that I was going to write, called Man with Spear, that would be an all-Jerry blog, because frankly, his interests are a bit more exciting than homeschooling, homemaking, and recipes.  

But I'm lazy, busy, or a combination of both, so despite a cool blog name, I think I will be blogging mostly on this site.  

That being said, all of Jerry's shenanigans will be posted here, which is ironic really, because he doesn't wear sunscreen.  (Don't yell at me.  I nag encourage him to wear it, but I'm not always successful.  YOU try and get that man to do something he doesn't want to do.)


If you know Jerry at all, you'll know that he's not much for sitting and doing nothing, unless there is a game/race on, or he's sitting at the computer.  Beach sitting? 

Nope.  I'm a beach loner, hanging out with the kids while he's face down in the water hunting. 

But we don't go to the beach every day.  What else do we do that Jerry enjoys?


Blue Wave Boating

Step 1:  Gather up a million things, hook up the boat, and find a decent barely usable boat ramp.  

Step 2:  Try to block out the sounds of the locals swearing the "F" word at each other across the bay by closing the truck windows, turning on the radio, and/or singing annoying songs like "Let it Go" at full volume. 

Step 3:  Launch the boat, park the truck, and head off into the wild hopefully perfectly calm blue. 

Step 4:  Cruise around until you find an interesting cluster of rocks that look exactly like all of the other clusters of rocks along the cliff wall.

Step 5:  Put on the equipment:  Mask, snorkel, fins, weight belt, Hawaiian sling, and spear.  Then get the kids to put on their equipment:  Mask, snorkel, fins, pole spear.  Forget to put anti-fog in your mask so take off equipment, put on anti-fog, and then put your equipment back on.

Step 6:  Flop out of the boat into the water and swim around the interesting rocks.  (Mom:  Stay in the boat, keeping up with the hunters as they drift along, watching carefully for sharks while the daring husband and fearless children collect dinner.)

Step 7:  (Hopefully) shoot a bunch of edible swimming things.  Put them in the boat.

Step 8:  Line up the catch on Jerry's custom tailgate cutting board for the obligatory fish line-up photo.

Step 9:  Fillet the fish while the kids squeal and scream and poke the eyeballs of the poor, dead dinner fish.  Swipe away 56,797 flies per square inch and be so insanely thankful that we are not from a Sub-Saharan tribe where flies live permanently on our faces and tear ducts.

Step 10:  Bring in the goodies and bake/fry/boil them up for dinner.  

Step 11:  Eat and enjoy!

Step 12:  Wait for Jerry's skin to recover from sunburn for a day or two and then repeat steps.  

This is our new favorite restaurant; the all-you-can-catch-to-eat seafood buffet.


  1. I love to read your stories, Paula, you are a great writer. You always make me laugh also!

  2. That's a catchy name for your buffet. Can't wait to participate and eat there. Looks like the cutting board is in full use! As for Jerry…..good luck, he will leather gradually like the rest of them, lol